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A lot of chimps have been coming up to me recently and attempting to rip my head off for spreading the good word of investing. For some reason they think that investing in stocks is equivalent to gambling in Vegas. Usually, I would tell those people to go hump a flamingo, but since I, Mr. Moneybags am going through a mid-moneybag crisis, I have decided to help those out who are less fortunate than I. After all, you should never make fun of anyone with a hereditary disease, especially one as serious as stupidity.
As I was saying, if you think that investing in stocks is the same as gambling then may I just point my finger at a very interesting observation: Why is it that chronic gamblers end up selling off their Lamborghinis while investors are the ones that buy those Lamborghinis off of them? Is it possible, that maybe, just maybe, investors don’t end up losing every time? Unlike, say, Vegas?
Did I just blow your mind there? I’ll give you a moment to pick your head off the floor and regain your composure.
Fact is, gambling is completely based on chance (and luck). Whereas investing in stocks depends on the investors’ stock picking skills (and some luck). For instance, there’s a reason that my investments at The BAG Fund are able to make 150% returns in a little over a year while your cousin Bob who followed his neighbour’s daughter’s horse’s rider’s advice on some hot new stock that was going to revolutionize the horse-riding industry now lives with his horse.
The difference between the mighty Mr. Moneybags and cousin Bob is the fact that I have a very strict stock-picking system that I follow with the mightiest kung fu grip ever to have been gripped by mankind. You can read more about this system here, in fact, it’s exactly how I pick my stocks.
Someone once asked me if that really is how I pick stocks. After I answered yes, his head exploded. For some reason he couldn’t understand why I would just throw out my secret formula out to the public for everyone to see – especially since just by using that (very simple-to-use, might I add) formula I haven’t had a single loss (yet). I can only imagine what would happen if he also realized that I released my entire stock portfolio out for everyone to see, you know, the one that people pay money in order to be able to invest in (see: The BAG Fund).
You’d think that people would simply read and learn about the way I pick my stocks, would take a gander at my stock picks and then they would be forever ready to make the same returns we make at The BAG Fund. I would assume the same thing actually, in fact, I was quite surprised to see that instead of everyone rushing off to make returns that will make them enough money to buy a plutonium-powered rocket ship, the waiting list to get into The BAG Fund has grown longer than the line waiting to see the pope.
I can’t say I blame these people though, since throughout my existence since the dawn of time I have come to realize there are two types of people in the world: ones that do things themselves and ones who have others do things for them. If you’re one of those people who does things for yourself, then by all means read up on our very handy articles explaining the virtues of the stock market and how to take advantage of it by following my advice – I am after all the richest being ever to have existed in the universe, thus my credibility speaks for itself.
Here are some helpful articles to get you started:
1. Making sense of the stock market
2. The potential that the stock market brings (compounded interest)
3. Building your own stock portfolio
4. Choosing an online brokerage
If you’re the other kind of person, the one that has other people do things for you…well, The BAG Fund is full, sorry. You can join the waiting list here…I also sell length of rope for very cheap prices (for the unbearable pain and what-not).
Some random posts you might enjoy:
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